HOW Does religion/spirituality inform maternal satisfaction?
Introduction
Literature regarding the levels and nature of satisfaction experienced by a woman in connection with her role as mother is, at this point in time, somewhat limited. Much of it has to do with women’s medical concerns rather than the more ethereal and psycho-spiritual aspects of mothering. Medicine, Mothering and Religiousness have connections which require further investigation and exploration, in order to determine the satisfaction, and fulfillment a woman may experience in this powerful and unique aspect of human experience.
The phenomenon of mothering and the satisfaction or fulfillment she may associate with this facet of her life goes beyond that which can be measured by marital satisfaction, child outcomes or the amount of analgesic intervention used during a medical procedure. Indeed, one may ask if mothering can be satisfying even for those who do not give birth at all (Dew,2001).
The idea of motherhood as a unique and important phenomenon, worthy of research and exploration, appears to be in its infancy. However, as women move into third wave feminism, they begin to explore their roles in society in new and diverse ways (Kaufman,1993).
The most thoroughly researched aspect of maternal satisfaction appears to be in regards to the medical procedures we associate with childbirth. In recent decades the role of care provider during childbirth has become largely technological, thus providing us with a plethora of studies designed to allow women the best that modern medical science has to offer. Studies like that of Johnson, Langdon, Yong & Stewart, (2002) seek to determine several elements of maternal satisfaction, using a number of core concepts which will be discussed in greater detail later in this brief. These studies use multidimensional measures in order to obtain a comprehensive view of what can, and perhaps should, be done to ensure that women receive “Valuable information on the quality of services and future planning for maternity” (p 127). While this research is valuable and easily quantifiable for use in the medical community, it has severe limitations which will become apparent as we proceed.
The concept of religion informing the way a woman sees and executes her role as mother is not new; although to date it may be more anecdotal than empirically documented. Traditions and rituals, preformed by mothers, as well as by family and friends, provide a sense of peace and comfort for those whose world is touched by new life. A woman; mother or other, wishes to feel that she is doing all she can for this child. When she exercises faith and follows accepted practices she can find support; “Orthodox practices and Godly faith give women confidence and status” (Shubowitz, 2007). Through the guidance and framework of religion/spirituality women are permitted to participate with God in the protection and guidance of the fledgling.
Such rituals and traditions are often found in the way women mother and when properly executed provide a degree of satisfaction in doing all that the “God of heaven, shall require of you” (Ezra 7:21, KJV).
Studies on fathering and parenting have given us insight regarding satisfaction of the parents as well as the children. Grote, Naylor and Clark (2002) found that “enjoyment” and “sincere appreciation” can be experienced in regards to the work women accomplish within the family (p. 512). Satisfaction in marriage has been documented when values and beliefs which are aspects of the role of religion in family life are present (Hünler & Gencöz, 2005).
Research into the lives of women needs to be expanded in this diverse Third Wave of Feminist Scholarship. We have untapped resources which might provide us with valuable insight for understanding the concepts of satisfaction, fulfillment and enrichment a woman can experience in womanhood, motherhood and religion.
Mothering
Third Wave Feminism
Truly liberated women in this, the modern era, are beginning to feel confident enough to make choices which include aspects of womanhood more recently thought to be outmoded traditions. Many of these women find a voice in organized, even orthodox, religion. In discussing the veiling phenomenon of some Muslim communities, Heyat (2008) warns us not to be confused about this new sensation;
“This is no return to old traditions of veiling and confinement of women to the home environment, but a voluntary act of self-assertion in adopting a form of dress that signals respectability (through an image of modesty and chastity) while leading an active public life” (p. 366).
Women of today are rethinking the concepts generated by feminists of the recent past. In late 19th and early 20th centuries feminists sought to secure rights such as voting and property ownership for women. While these things were granted in some areas they were denied in others (Thomas, 2008). In the mid-20th century feminism tended to center around issues such as employment and sexual harassment and took on a rather anti-male bearing. By the 1990s women began to feel a backlash of legislation which favored some women but had detrimental effect on others (Gennarson, Svenson & Davies, 2007). According to scholars in this the 21st century, Third Wave Feminism is a term identified with several diverse strains of feminism. Perhaps we are now entering a world where person-ism will be possible.
Differing views of a woman’s proper role in society and family have created disunity among those within the feminist movement. Some women find that decades old definitions of what women ought to do, are not to their liking. They seek to find satisfaction and fulfillment in areas which may have been discarded by their feminist foremothers.
Could it be that some women find traditional religious ways liberating, even to the point of becoming involved in public life? Something which previously was solely the domain of the male members of household. Can a woman be highly educated and deeply religious?
The concept that feminism and organized religion constitute diametrically opposed world views may be a thing of the past. Indeed, they may be part and parcel of a paradigm shift for women in the 21st century.
It would appear that there are feminists who wish to reestablish some of the traditions which had fallen into disfavor by those seeking to diminish, even if possible, eradicate, the oppression and inequality of ages past.
Motherhood is one such tradition. Mothering has been thought, by some, to be the single most oppressive aspect of ancient patriarchy. One response to this idea is an address which was given to the American Psychological Association by Dr. Roy Baumeister, (2007) a Professor of Social Psychology at Florida State University, Tallahassee in which he explained;
“One unfortunate legacy of feminism has been the idea that men and women are basically enemies” (¶ 4).
Patriarchy is power and power can be used both to bless and to destroy. While there are those who agree with Professor Baumeister there are also those who see things through the lens of radical feminism, such as Adrianna Rich(1995) who taught that;
“Patriarchy is the power of the fathers . . . by force, direct pressure, or through ritual, tradition, law and language [to] determine what part women shall or shall not play, and in which the female is everywhere subsumed under the male” (p.57).
Many Orthodox, Conservative and Evangelical Christians, see patriarchy differently; as a responsibility before God. Rather than using a social constructionist theory that man has created the framework by which family and society function, many feel that God is the one in charge of man’s social network – or at least that He ought to be. Using this idea Lim Israel (1997) has given us what he views to be a more biblically correct definition of patriarchy;
“True Biblical Patriarchy is not man dominance but God dominance through man as the head of his household where he must love his household as Christ loves the church and if necessary lay down his life for it”(Israel,1997).
While motherhood and family (patriarchal or other) tend to go hand-in-hand, the nurturing and mentoring of children by their mothers can also be seen as a tool, used by men, to keep women from excelling and taking a higher place in human society.
For some time feminism has sought to explain away any positive aspects of motherhood with such statements as “Motherhood as an institution is a male-defined site of oppression” (Rich,1995). Thus, motherhood may not be valued in the same way that it once was and now finds itself under appreciated and understudied in the social sciences.
Today, women have many choices and some have made that choice in traditional and quiet ways; almost unnoticed by academia. North America finds itself to be the home of a soft-spoken and at times almost invisible population – The Anabaptists. This is a society of highly religious Christian people who choose to remain basically agrarian in their lifestyle. They marry and raise large families in the quiet and separate world they strive to maintain around themselves. They are Amish, German Baptists, Mennonites and Hutterites. The growing population of these self-proclaimed “peculiar people” (Deuteronomy 14:2, KJV) seeks to remain apart; off the grid in more ways than one. This has made it difficult and perhaps undesirable from a feminist standpoint, to add them to studies of family and parenting. However, their contribution to the body of work on marriage, family, parenting, mother work and fathering may be both profound and invaluable.
While their values could be described as ultra conservative and since they do not “involve themselves in Man’s affairs” (Desparrois, 2000) they tend to shun voting, running for office, nor do they serve in the military therefore, we see little of them. As a part of this desire to exclude themselves from the world of “Man’s affairs” they do not educate their people beyond high school. This leaves them with NO COHORTS in academia. While other religious groups have found a voice – however faint – in academic circles, this demographic is severely under studied.
Should we study Anabaptist mothers, fathers and families? These people have been living in successful, cohesive family units – often of large size and wide extension – for centuries. Do they have some insights that could add to the body of literature regarding positive parent/child outcomes and significant marital satisfaction?
Religion has offered a place for many who seek to better understand and execute their role in family and society. The Anabaptists seek to maintain an identity and social structure which is very much separate from the political and economic world around them We see other peoples such as the Israelites or Jews who see themselves as a ”Nation” within nations. Religion can unify, define and give us parameters for the way in which we live our lives. Why not the way we see our roles as mothers, women and members of a whole that is greater than ourselves?
As we study motherhood, mothering and the satisfaction one may experience in regards to these roles and identities we find that there are a number of ways in which women are viewed. The medical profession for example sees women as a part of their practice, often separate and distinct, but a part which requires specific attention. They seek to deal with reproduction and other female health issues in ways that are safe, effective and profitable. As we move into a new century we have a view of the past as well as a glimpse into the future. What will we bring with us as we move forward for women and mothering?
Medicine
Childbirth
Medical findings for satisfaction with childbirth have a prominent place in today’s literature on maternal satisfaction. In this area there is a great deal of data. Johnson, Langdon, Yong & Stewart, (2002) did an extremely comprehensive study in which sixteen core aspects were used to determine levels of satisfaction for mothers at the 21 Australian hospitals involved the study;
1) Socio-demographic Information
2) Mother’s History
3) Provider of care/services
4) Participation in decision making
5) Antenatal [prenatal] classes and visits
6) Pain Relief
7) Feeding the baby
8) Medical supervision and treatment
9) People present at birth
10) Contact with baby after birth
11) Information about progress of the baby
12) Hospital arrangements/stay
13) Waiting time/getting to clinic
14) Continuity of care
15) Overall information provision
16) Quality of care (general satisfaction)
Of the sixteen criteria, three stand out; numbers 11, 4 and 6. Number 11 had the highest percentage of importance in determining maternal satisfaction; nearly half. While 4 and 6 were equally valued by the women in the study. Number 11 – Information about progress of the baby; woman want to be informed and knowledgeable regarding their infant. The idea of involvement and a sense of control shows also in the next most important aspect as well; Number 4 – Participation in decision making. Of equal significance was the aspect of Pain relief – # 6. These facets of childbirth have to do with treating the woman as a part of a “team effort” in delivering the child – a valued member of the team with a voice in the process as well as the outcome.
A choice of who should be present during the birth itself, including professionals such as doctors, nurses and other medical attendants, made up the remainder of significant findings regarding the satisfaction of the mother with the birthing process. Again reflecting the aspect of significant participation in the event as a whole.
Both antenatal [prenatal] and postnatal [postpartum] questionnaires were used implementing the Mason Survey (developed in England) and a modification of this rather involved measurement; deleting some questions which were more specific to care in the UK which did not apply in Australia – such as Midwives as primary care providers.
While the methods were comprehensive and the research thorough, the application of said research is constricted when it comes to the generalizability of findings, since they only pertain to those who wish to give birth in hospital settings. Approximately 75 % of birthing mothers, world wide, deliver outside of a hospital setting (Kimes, 2008) so this study has some notable limitations.
Some aspects remain generally applicable however. For example, Sjöblom, Nordström, & Edberg (2006), agreed with Johnson, Langdon, Young & Stewart (2002), that a woman’s sense of control over her situation was indeed important. They found that birthing at home “Preserved authority and autonomy whereby the women themselves ruled the situation” (p. 348). These data are useful in providing childbirth options which allow for greater safety and satisfaction. While valuable within the realms of medical birthing practices, these studies were never designed to address the phenomenon of maternal satisfaction from a standpoint of motherhood, mothering nor the psycho-spiritual dimensions related to the fulfillment of this uniquely dynamic responsibility.
Religion/Spirituality
Knowledge, Structure and Guidance
Knowledge within the realms of mothering is complex. Mother is a term with many facets or layers and whose aspects touch not only those who give birth but all who are closely associated with family (Dew, 2001). For those whose lives incorporate spirituality and religion we find that motherhood is sacred; a divine mandate and an unfathomable gift. For women who seek to comply with the will of the Divine, motherhood is no mere physical phenomenon, no biological accident and certainly not a coercive and undesirable manifestation of male oppression. Motherhood has been called “the highest and holiest service. . . assumed by mankind” (Dew, 2001). In an address to women of faith Sheri Dew – then in leadership of the largest and oldest women’s organization worldwide – reminded those present;
“I have thought long and hard about the work of women of God. And I have wrestled with what the doctrine of motherhood means for all [women]. This issue [is] an ennobling doctrine regarding our most crucial role as women. It is a doctrine about which we must be clear if we hope to stand ‘steadfast and immovable’ regarding the issues that swirl around our gender” (p.96).
In stressing the importance, even divinity, regarding the role women take upon themselves to nurture and rear children, Ms. Dew emphasizes the idea that we have a unique opportunity to participate in something larger than ourselves. We, as women, are an innate part of a much bigger picture.
Women who find grounding in religion and things spiritual, have a far different view of themselves and their potential than the victim-hood of some feminist philosophies. In point of fact, women who have religion as an integral part of their lives have a framework that is unique and powerful for the fulfillment of their goals and desires.
Structure is provided by various aspects of society. We are taught by those around us, in our schools and recreation as well as in our places of worship those things which are not only unacceptable, but that which is desirable and essential for human interaction. Within religion Chatters & Taylor (2005) observed that;
“Religious teachings provide specific guidelines for the performance of marital and family roles that act to define role identities and shape role behaviors and attitudes” (p.519).
Being part of a faith community brings support and comfort which can be found in times of celebration as well as times of sorrow and tribulation. Chatter & Taylor (2005) also found that “Religion provides . . . special meaning” as well as fostering the feelings of “empowerment and hope” (p. 518) for those within these frameworks. This is not so for individuals who simply maintain general or casual affiliation to a particular sect. Rather, this benefit is only available for those whose commitment and sense of belonging, were integral parts of religion as they saw and experienced it.
Finally the concept of prayer – personal, family and community – was an essential element which was available to those who partook of this structure in their lives. While prayer has been widely recognized as a religious coping behavior, Chatter & Taylor (2005) found “prayer from others” (p. 522) was seen as a signal within the faith community for aid and support in the unique and powerful ways expected of and for its members.
As a woman seeks to define and fulfill her role of mother she finds assistance in religion which provides for the concept of “sacred purpose” (p. 537). This links a woman to things divine, which is where she can look for knowledge, comfort, structure and guidance.
Guidance. When a woman feels a responsibility to remain steadfast in regard to things sacred she may also feel direction and solace in executing that divinely mandated role. As she seeks wisdom from others in connection with these duties and responsibilities she also has a measure against which she may gage her actions. This measure allows her to feel a greater sense of satisfaction when she knows that compliance is exact and complete.
New mothers often perform specific protective rituals for their infant children;
“To protect the baby from evil spirits. Muslim parents will pin charms or amulets to the baby’s clothes to help ward off evil. Additionally, after delivery, prayers are whispered in the newborn’s ear by a male family member to declare faith and again protect the child. The Orthodox Jewish woman may also pin amulets to her child’s clothing, put a prayer card in the bassinet, or tie a red ribbon to the child’s clothing or place it in the bassinet to help deter the evil spirits” (Cassar, 2006).
Complying with these age-old rituals and traditions creates a bond that connects generations of women and empowers the new mother with a sense that she too, can accomplish the monumental task set before her. She is reminded that others have done, and will do, this very same thing for their children – she is not alone.
In a complex and often frightening world, a mother can find the wisdom of ages available to her for the asking. When she feels adrift in a sea of options those possibilities are lovingly narrowed for her by the guidance of teachers, leaders and sisters in her faith. A woman who finds religion to provide a framework of guidance, increased knowledge and wisdom has resources not otherwise available for one who dose not experience religion/spirituality in her life.
Social scientists have found that “Religiously based concepts and perspectives can make a valuable contribution” (Carroll, Knapp & Holman, 2005). Further study into the affect of religiousness and spirituality on mothers, family and society as a whole is needed in order to provide valuable resources for those seeking to understand and implement assistance and change in these important aspects of human experience.
Discussion
How Can We Know?
The difficulty with measurements is that those which are empirical can be written up and designed into charts, graphs and other visual aids where as the levels of satisfaction one feels, the amount of fulfillment – and its fleeting nature – are not as easily recorded. On any given day one may feel both satisfied and dissatisfied regarding a role as complex as mothering.
Dillway (2006) found that the expectations of a woman who chooses to mother are so diverse that a woman may find satisfaction in her role as, for example, homemaker, teacher etc but not in her role of nurse or sex-educator.
“A woman multi tasks, so to speak, in her performance of mother-work and other family work. She teaches her sons about reproduction, gender, and families, and maintains gendered relations with her husband in one fell swoop. [All while exploring the] ideology of women as primary caretakers of children” (p. 50).
When a couple divorces one may suppose that satisfaction is not present, thus yielding a statistic regarding marital satisfaction in the case of that particular couple. This may be accurate and easily quantifiable; but one does not divorce one’s children.
Once motherhood is accepted as a part of a woman’s life, no earthly tribunal can keep her from feeling like a mother in one way or another. Dillway (2006) also found that long after children had become adults a woman “Still felt that motherhood was a primary identity” (p. 47). Can a women derive satisfaction decades after the daily aspects of a task are completed? Does a woman stop mothering at some point? Questions which require a great deal more research.
Separating the concepts of parenting, marriage and child outcomes from mothering is difficult to say the least. Perhaps we can begin with the external expression of internal concepts. Self-reports are essential, so too are observational studies of women who mother. We need to be cautious when we seek to determining the outcomes for mothers to be the same as child or father outcomes when completing family studies. Dillway (2006) found that “motherhood as ideology and institution assumes women’s and children’s interests to be exactly the same” (p. 44).
As research is undertaken to further this field we would be wise to seek to theorize more and quantify less. We need qualitative and descriptive narrative to enrich and expand the data.
Conclusion
Where We Go From Here
The field is wide open at this point. Nothing has been over studied in regards to a woman’s perception of her roles in life, society and family. Included in future studies we should see investigation into the lasting impact these things can and do have on her life.
As we seek to expand feminist scholarship we need new definitions of what women do, how and why they do it and what the repercussions are for the women, their families and society as a whole.
Popillion (2001) has given us a wonderful start in regards to the longitudinal impact which the role of mother has on a woman’s life. Further research, which is more inclusive of a broader sampling is warranted. As suggested at the end of the article sighted here Popillion (2001) felt the need to focus on “issues relating to the whole person” (p. 162). Research into “how issues related to caring for children influenced mothers’ development” (p. 162) could provide valuable insight.
As we take a more theoretic view of mothering and religiousness we need to understand the “multifaceted nature of moral action” (Williams & Olson, 2008) which is a profound component of parenting in general and mothering specifically. The ability and responsibility regarding choices made, can profoundly impact levels of satisfaction and fulfillment.
In human relationships of all kinds, one is often confronted by the choices and decisions of others, over which one has little or no control. Yet, in this brief we have seen that a woman’s sense of control over her role as mother is a significant aspect, not only of her birthing but her rearing of children.
There is comfort and solace – perhaps even satisfaction – in realizing that one might “play a role in creating the quality of their lives” (p. 6). To further study familial relationships in light of the moral and ethical aspects of human interaction can add substantially to the literature on mothering, religiousness and levels of satisfaction that are experienced as these facets of human experience are defined and explored.
In his work “The Bonds That Make Us Free” Dr. C. T. Warner (2001) observes that when one no longer resists the moral call to be “agents unto ourselves” – rather than allowing our situation or circumstance to determine our “way of being” – we free ourselves to create loving relationships with those around us. We reach a “choice point” (p.235) where one acts instead of being acted upon. By making this choice one can have the peace and satisfaction of knowing that – no matter what others may do – that which could/should be done in that moment has been done to the best of one’s own personal ability.
For parents to have this perspective allows the potential of finding greater satisfaction, experience less guilt and growing from their roles in mothering and fathering in ways not otherwise possible.
Coltrane (2005) reminds us that “women form families, raise children, and sustain households”(p. 427). In other words it is women – mothers – who provide the glue of society which holds humankind together. This activity may appear self-sacrificing and unappreciated at times (p. 428) but it can provide rewards which include deep satisfaction, enjoyment and even pleasure (p. 429).
One aspect of mothering in the modern western world is the notion of “having it all” that pervades feminism. The concept that a young woman can earn advanced degrees, head major corporations and have a rich family life as well, may be an appealing prospect but, there are those who would argue against the reality such a philosophy.
Sylvia Ann Hewlett, (2002) who explored the professional and private lives of highly educated and high-earning women, questions the concept of having a high powered career and a full, rewarding family life. Her research showed that women who pursued career and educational goals ended up without the family that they had expected would materialize – later. Further research into the expectations of women in their multiple roles needs to include this notion and who it is that perpetuates such a potentially untenable set of goals.
As we move forward in scholarship we must carefully safeguard against individual bias. Carroll, Knapp & Holman, (2005) found that researching family dynamics can be a challenge, with so many diverse views of family, mothering, fathering, etc. “All forms of marital [maternal] scholarship make assumptions about what it means to be a human being”. While these may be “clearly formatted” they may also “remain hidden and unexamined” (p. 267). Taken as a caution to research in the future as well as the interpretation of past studies, we should, never the less, move forward without hesitation to explore the world of maternal satisfaction. Investigation regarding satisfaction, fulfillment and enjoyment for mothers in today’s world will enhance our ability to understand and better assist all members of family and society.
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