Rethinking the Blended Family

On December 12, 2014, in Divorce, Jennifer Johnson, by Betsy

As somebody who was raised in multiple divorce/remarriage situations, the phrase “blended family” has always reminded me of a blender.  Yes, a literal blender, like this: [Find the videos at the original post on the Ruth blog here.]

A blender is a machine that takes various soft tissues and liquefies, chops, cuts, etc., with the intent of creating a unique new, whole, thing. It isn’t a pleasant process if you happen to be in the role of the blendee. I know that the intent behind “blended family” is to convey something far milder than being put through a blender. It’s supposed to serve as a replacement for “step family,” which some feel is more harsh or stark.

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by Jennifer Johnson

This article was first posted at ruthblog.org on August 13, 2014.

divorce and suicide for menWhen I heard about Robin Williams’ suicide yesterday, I felt shocked. So shocked that it was hard for me to think for several minutes. I kept wondering, “What? Huh? Is this real?” I could not imagine this extremely talented man as being dead. Not only that, but anytime I hear of somebody’s suicide it reminds me of my own father’s death. He also committed suicide, back in 1991.

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by Jennifer Johnson

To Renee Jacques at HuffPo,

I came across your article today:

11 Reasons Your Parents’ Divorce Isn’t So Bad After All

The piece is so callous that at first I wondered if you were joking. Then I realized you weren’t joking.

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Around March of 2013 I came across the words of a prominent LGBT activist named Masha Gessen:
I have three kids who have five parents, more or less, and I don’t see why they shouldn’t have five parents legally… I would like to live in a legal system that is capable of reflecting that reality, and I don’t think that’s compatible with the institution of marriage.

Imagine having five parents! Here’s what it means: it means going back and forth between all those households on a regular basis, never having a single place to call home during your most tender and vulnerable years. It means having divided Christmases, other holidays, and birthdays–you spend one with one parent, and another with the other parent, never spending a single holiday or birthday with both parents. Imagine having each of your parents completely ignore the other half of you, the other half of your family, as if it did not even exist. Meanwhile, imagine each parent pouring their energy into their new families and creating a unified home for their new children. These experiences give you the definite impression of being something leftover, something not quite part of them. You live like that on a daily basis for 18+ years.

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By Stephen Baskerville, a Ruth Institute Circle of Experts Member

This article was first published April 8, 2013, at World Net Daily.com.

The fight to save marriage, as current being waged, is largely pointless. It simply cannot be won on these terms. If defenders of marriage can let go of their own politically correct fixations and squarely face some harsh but incontrovertible facts, it is still possible to stop the impending destruction of marriage by the courts.

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